Ashley Morris: Fuck You You Fucking Fucks

In case you haven't watched the first season of Treme, I'd like to introduce you to Ashley Morris. An outspoken, angry, New Orleanian, who in the months after Hurricane Katrina became an internet sensation through his profanity fueled blog posts. He passed away in 2008. Treme had the character based on his life commit suicide by jumping off the Mississippi River ferry, but in reality the real Ashley Morris died suddenly of heart failure while visiting Florida in 2008. You can read Ashley's obituary at the bottom of this link.

Last night I watched a sneak preview of a film called Land of Opportunity. The film carves out the multiple layers that have defined the right to housing struggle by following eight people from 2006 to 2010 in post Katrina New Orleans. The movie intimately details the developing process of the rebuilding of the city through the lens of community activists, urban planners, young adults, and South American undocumented day laborers. It's a great film. Check it out.

Ok . . Here is Ashley Morris' Fuck You You Fucking Fucks. God bless Ashley Morris.

Fuck you you fucking fucks.

I don’t give a damn what the hell you Yankees/Texans do, do it in your own yard, and shut the fuck up. We don’t care what you do, and we don’t want your damned PVC sided beige square houses uglying up our town. Go home, and quit looking at my home as simply a chance to line your wallets.

I’m so glad all you Chicagoans have figured out exactly how to fix New Orleans. Look at your own nasty city and explain why you can’t deal with the snow other than to throw tons of salt on the road, and why you can’t buy a beer for under $5. Fuck you, you fucking fucks.

What about you fucks that don’t want to rebuild NOLA because we’re below sea level. Well, fuckheads, then we shouldn’t have rebuilt that cesspool Chicago after the fire, that Sodom San Francisco after the earthquakes, Miami after endless hurricanes, or New York because it’s a magnet for terrorists.

And fuck Kansas, Iowa, and your fucking tornados.

Fuck you, San Antonio. You aren’t getting our Saints. When I get to the Alamo, I’m taking a piss on it. You probably go to funerals and hit on the widow. Classless fucks.

Fuck you Houston and Atlanta. No matter how many of our residents you steal, how many of our events you pilfer, you still ain’t got no culture. One of our neighborhoods has more character than all of your pathetic cookie-cutter suburbs laid end to end. Fuck you, fuck you all.

Fuck you Tom Benson. I hate you on so fucking many levels, but the main one is this: they aren’t your Saints, they’re ours. The NEW FUCKING ORLEANS Saints. All you had to do was say that you were coming back. But you didn’t. You had to fuck around to try to get more money. Fuck you, you greedy bastardo. Don’t think we haven’t noticed that you have phased out all of the merchandise that has the state of Louisiana on it. Don’t think we haven’t noticed how hard it is to get some Saints merchandise that actually says “New Orleans” on it. Fuck you, Fuck San Antonio, Fuck your whole fucking family. And if you and Rita think that anybody is going to patronize your car dealerships, then you got another thing coming, fuckface.

Fuck you New York. You lose a neighborhood and get scads of federal aid. We lose an entire FUCKING COAST, and the freespending W administration finally decides to become fiscally responsible. And fuck you all for taunting the New Orleans Saints fans, who have to deal with playing a home game in the Meadowlands. Fuck you, you classless motherfuckers. New Orleans donates a fire engine to the FDNY after 9/11, and you give us shit. Fuck you, fuck your town, fuck your residents, fuck your politicians. You. All. Suck.

Fuck you governess Blanco. Get your act together. Get a clue, or at least hire somebody who does.

Fuck you army corps of engineers. You are so full of yourself, and you don’t have clue fucking one. Building levees on jello. You should be tried and convicted of treason, or mass murder. Fuck you all, let’s give our money to the Dutch – they seem to have this shit figured out.

Fuck the Bush administration. Putting Mike Brown in charge of FEMA, you clueless fucking scalawag. You said “we will do what it takes”. Then do it.

Now.

Bitch.