The last two months have been a whirlwind of decisions, packing, airplane tickets, and the promise of a new adventure. Somewhere between waiting tables, staff retreats, and campaigning on safe school siting, I forgot that my first love has always been exploring the world around me. That is what wakes me up and the reason I want to be exhausted at night.
The past three years has been an accelerated course in how change happens at both a local and international levels. And I'm a better person because of all the people I've met and all the things I've accomplished and helped other people accomplish. But 12 hours a day at the same desk, 3 hour commutes, and an office in suburbs, doesn't make me a more fulfilled or useful person, it makes me tired and annoyed. And not exploring the world around me.
So in early September I decided to take a jump and see where I land. I wrote this post while sitting in the Dublin airport. Surrounded by tag parties to Prague, families on holiday, and newly graduated kids off to travel for a while. My goal right now and for the next year or so is to see new places, meet new people, and have many new adventures. Is this selfish? Do I feel like I'm letting down people in contaiminated communities that I could be helping? Of course it is and of course I do. But as leave my 20's (thank fucking god!) I'm realizing that I'm useless to the people I care about if I'm not taking care of my own life first.
Somewhere along the way I realized that I might one of the luckiest people on the planet. A friend offered her couch for as long as I need it, another friend helped me get a job for a couple months, and my former employer said that my job is still open if I decide to return next year. I'm pretty much waiting for everything to fall apart any moment, but as a friend explained, "Renee, sometimes things just work out." I'm don't necessarily believe that, but I do think that opportunities present themselves at the right time because of all the decisions you made just before. Opportunities are always right in front of you and all those poor and good decisions just allow you see them more clearly.
p.s. I'm in Amsterdam. And there are a lot of white people. A little strange I think.