My spring time so far has been pretty intense. I had this crazy dream the other night after a couple days of hormone surges (crying, eating, crying, attempts to sell everything I own and move to a small beach town. I totally looked on craigslist) Hungover West Virginian hikes (if someone gets you up a mountain by pushing on your back, you can do it too), entering my third month of 445 am wake up calls of sneezing and itchy eyes, and complete exhaustion from not having taken a vacation in over two years. Then there's the whole 'the world is falling apart and I need to do something about it' drama that activists repeat in their heads a hundred times a day thing. So anyways, my crazy dream. I dreamt that in order to get to my new apartment I had to take a glass bottom boat through a perfectly clear ocean while navigating around giant breaching whales and you never knew where they were going to break the top of the water. Whooaa! Get me a hammock and a Brazilian fanning me immediately! I need to pull over.
I feel like everyone is stressed and overwhelmed and no one is having a particularly good day right now. I'm not kidding when I say that most of the people around have put themselves into an institution or had someone die on them or are being fired or are dealing with career crisis'. It's like a fucking Mary Higgins Clark book but I haven't gotten to the part where all the pieces fit together nicely and the main character is sitting warmly in her apartment yet.
Finally, the weather was amazing today and everyone on the metro was smiling and even talking to each other. Talking during rush hour commute - I told you it was bizarro world in the district!
Maybe that's how spring is every year and I just keep forgetting. Like how every year you forget that February makes you consume more of everything and how hot September is and how there is always that 30 degree day in April that catches you off guard. Maybe I forgot how long my allergies lasted last year. Did they wake me up at 445 am for almost three months? Wouldn't I have remembered that?
I also feel like everyone is exhausted right now. I kind of feel like everyone is faking the caring about each other and wanting to do a good job at work. I think in reality we all want to go outside, sit in the park, and take a nap, but nobody wants to admit it because we are in all kinds of crisis' and that would look really lazy.
Take today for example. I listened to NPR but I didn't get out of bed until 8am. I didn't make it to the metro till 845. I didn't get to work until 10 and I took a 3pm lunch that allowed me to roam an arts and crafts store and then leave work by 430. Yeah, I left work at 430pm and I was the last one to leave. I turned off the lights and locked the office door at 430pm today!! Every last one of those bitches snuck out the door one by one and didn't tell anyone.
See, nobody means it. I bet they were all on facebook all day long while I called congressional staff and begged them to attend my briefing on Tuesday. I'm having dreams about having to navigate a giant glass bottom boat around dozens of breaching whales and people are not telling me I can leave work EARLIER than 430pm.
I kind of feel like people are starting to have crisis fatigue. There have been so many things going up and down, wrong, left, right and sideways, that I'm not sure how much more we can all take before we just shut down. I love politics. I love reading politics. I love talking politics. I love listening to politics. I even love googling state bills and reading the actual text of bills that have been passed in various states. I love reading the dates they got passed in which committee and what changed and was added and deleted. I love politics, but I'm getting so fucking tired of listening to politics that deals with the economy. It makes me sick thinking about the credit card rates, empty houses while families build tent cities in open spaces, smog filled cities when cleaner technology has been around for decades, and I'm even tired of watching the people who are responsible get punished, sort of punished in a ohhh you are such a rascal now come over here while I give you tons of money while you keep fucking over all those people. I don't want to know about any of it anymore. I'm fucking tired, yo.
But today I found this: "3-5PM: Nap Time and Vegan Cookies at West End Library 24th and L St NW hosted by SDAC" and I thought ohhhhh maybe the world is just as it should be.
I think the Obama's should host nap time and vegan cookies at the white house. Maybe that's all we really need after this past winter. I feel like we need mandatory nap times and time outs, acordingly.
And a trip to Barcelona. We all really need a trip to Barcelona.
Renee
ps. check out some pictures of the Orlando train station.
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